The Worm Turns

Are you a Musicians' Union 'Gold Card' member? Have you been informed that you're 'retired', even though you're not? Have you been told that you'll have to rejoin and pay the full subscription if you want the protection of the Union's insurance and legal services? Don't do it. Go to another shop and save yourself some money.

If you've been sent a pathetic little badge that would disgrace a Christmas cracker and more or less told to piss off, after being a fully paid-up and active member for more than 35 years; if you've been told to cough up £149 (or £144 by direct debit) to avail yourself of the above services - don't give in. Join Equity instead.

If you pay by direct debit you'll pay £120 in the first year and £95 thereafter. You get third-party insurance of £10m and the services of a specialist legal department, same as with the MU. Admittedly, you don't get instrument insurance, but the MU scheme is only a top-up anyway.

We're all perfectly aware of the problem - people living longer, guys retiring from day jobs and turning into pro musicians in their sixties, etc, etc. (Funny thing. They seem to be working more than the younger ones. I wonder why.) But the MU handled the whole thing in such a graceless, blundering, cack-handed manner that they managed to offend pretty well everybody.

So forget fraternal solidarity. No-one knows the meaning of that any more. Shop around for the Best Buy. And in the unlikely event that the MU ever calls a strike, you can cross the picket line without the slightest qualm.